Friday, June 22, 2012

Bullied Bus Monitor Shows Us What's Wrong with Society

If you haven't seen it, check out this video of the 68 year old bus monitor that was bullied

insert video later.

It highlights a number of things that is wrong with society.  Of course everyone wants to start pointing the blame on the parents, and rightfully so. Problem is when kids do this sort of thing, the natural instinct of everyone to look towards the parents, but we as a society don't easily allow the parents to do what needs to be done.

We we first heard my wife was pregnant with our first daughter we both were so happy and excited.  We read books about pregnancy and birthing and about parenting.  Many of the books were about what not to do.  Don't give in to the pacifier. Don't give up breastfeeding. Don't use the word "no". Don't punish the kid by taking something away but rather rewarding them for good behavior. Don't spank. Don't yell.  The list went on and on.  Can I tell you my parents did all those things and here I am, a 37 year-old man, holding down a job, I have a house, wife and three good children.  I think I am doing OK.  What's more is my five older siblings went through the same treatment at home and they are all successful with children that have been raised right.

Yet here we are in a society where we are more than happy to sue and blame someone else.  A society where outsiders are ready to step in if they think a child is being abused.  I always remember the story of my older sister who had her little (at the time) boy who was acting up all through Target.  They were in the checkout line and the boy continued to act up as someone was trying to slip past them.  She told him repeated to back up and finally had enough and grabbed him tightly by the arm and told him to back up and having to raise her voice a bit in order for the boy to listen.  The woman trying to slip by suddenly said, "OH NO, that's OK that's OK.  Just take it easy!"  The woman must have thought my sister was being to rough but I'm willing to bet she has never been through a store with a 5 year old child.  It can be challenging.  My wife and I both have had moments when our kids act up in public and we dare not do anything cause you never know who is watching or videoing.  Sometimes (many times) kids don't respond to your normal voice so you have to handle them different in order to get their attention.  Schools and parents are constantly told "don't".

Kids used to fear the three P's, parents, principals, and police.  Don't cross any of those three or there will be hell to pay.  You did something wrong and got sent to the principal and the principal felt it necessary to discipline you in some way, the parents probably would have said you had it coming.  Same with when the police showed up at your door.  Not so much anymore.  I was told of a case when a senior girl in high school went to check on her grandparent's house while the wintered in Arizona.  A couple of her friends were with and saw where the key was hidden.  The two friends decided to have parties in there complete with drugs and alcohol, often times being up past one or two in the morning on a school night.  They made the mistake of posting a picture on Facebook and of course the granddaughter saw it, recognized the place and told her parents.  Police were sent over and busted the two friends that threw the party.  The house was trashed when the police got there. What did the parents do?  They put a restraining order on the police for blaming the incident on their child.  "Oh no, not my Johnny!"  Police can't even do their job anymore because parents have turned into idiots that believe everything they read about parenting and support their child no matter what they say or do.

Society, it's time to shut up and let parents do their job.  I'm not suggesting look the other way when there are signs of abuse.  Believe me I hate abusers as much as the next guy, but an occasional spanking can't hurt.  It may look like the parent is being a jerk but I know that kid will respect, or at least fear, their parents as they grow up.  Parents often hate giving them as much as kids hate getting them, but there needs to be that respect.  Ground them. Take away their video games.  Yell. Do something that will get their attention!  I hate yelling and hate spanking. In fact I will contend that I spank my youngest daughter less than my oldest because I just don't like doing it and I hate being the bad guy. But they know the warning signs now when Dad is mad.  They continue to push the limits however, especially when we are around, but we are proud parents when we are not there and we hear reports how well behaved our child is. If they respect you, they will respect others as well.

Circling back to the bus story.  Let these parents take the necessary steps to correct what needs to be done.  Unfortunately others are taking it into their own hands with death threats which is hypocritical when you think about it.  If I would hear my child is bullying someone, they would be in a world of trouble and they would know it before they came home.  Remember on "A Christmas Story" when Ralphie beat up his bully?  His little brother Randy was crying because "Daddy's gonna kill Ralphie."  Yup, they would know the trouble they would be in already.

Finally, we have to stop suing based on stupid things.  I was a camp counselor and a kid would not listen the whole time he was there.  He talked back.  Was rude to the counselors and other campers.  The last straw came when he was throwing a boom-a-rang in the hall after I told him not to. Of course he knocked out a light so I grabbed him by the shirt and said knock it off.  He responded by saying, "you better let go or I'll sue you." I ignorantly called his bluff and said, "try me."  He listened after that and I was glad he didn't decide to sue me.  I had no intention of doing anything to him, but he didn't have to know that, all I needed was his attention and I got it.  I will admit, I was secretly nervous afterwards of possible reprocusions.  Years past the parent probably would have sided with me, not anymore.

One more story of how out of hand people are with suing. A recent article states a NY woman is suing an 11 year-old because he threw the ball to far in a little league game and hit the woman.  She is suing the boy for over $100,000.  If she wins, then I think we can surely say that this is the end of society as we know it.  Might as well start acting like "Lord of the Flies".

---Light Notes---

We've had my wife's grandma watching our school aged girls in the morning this summer.  My wife is particular about how things are done around the house. Very organized and neat. Her grandma flies more by the seat of her pants and that bothers my self-proclaimed anal wife.  However the anal part of my wife is definitely trickling down to the oldest child.  When grandma asks Kaitlyn which outfit goes in which closet, she will tell her.  We learned that Kaitlyn has informed Granny the order of things like, "short sleaves go here, long sleeves here, long pants, capris, dress pants, and stuff that has just come out of the wash goes to the back of the rotation"  It made my wife both upset and proud that she is carrying on with her analness.

We were watching a video in church titled "Fishers of Men" Of course the beginning of the video showed men throwing nets over a boat.  To which Ella asks, "Why are we watching Deadliest Catch?"

Couldn't find my dress shoes Monday morning after fathers day so I had to wear a different pair.  I came home that night and was told that the box on the table was from Ella cause she was upset she didn't make me a Father's Day gift.  Inside the box was peanutbutter crackers, a drawing, and my shoes.

Had a nice Father's Day. Went out for breakfast with in-laws, bought a fishing rod and some gear and took Ella and Kaitlyn fishing at Golden Lake.  Asked the owner of the restaraunt where to go and suggested going on east side of the lake, not by the pier.  We caught one little perch and had plenty of nibbles but that was it. So on the advice of a begging Ella to go to the pier, we went over there.  It took no longer than a minute after the first line was cast our first bobber went down hard.  We reeled in the first of 5 bullheads that day.  The girls thought it was great but would get no closer than five feet from these larger fish.  In fact, the last one took the hook so bad that I couldn't get it out and it was bleeding perfusely.  I told Kaitlyn to get the pliers from the car and wanted to hand her the keys but she would not get close to me with that fish in my hands so I tossed the keys to her and it landed on the pier.  I'm glad they didn't drop or we really would have been in trouble.  I still couldn't get the hook out with the pliers so I had to cut the line.  With all the bleeding, I don't think the fish was going to live long anyway.  That was enough for the girls.  They were done after that incident.

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